Top Rejected Names for "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter"

5. This is like butter, only made of chemicals that somehow make it more healthy?

4. This tub was mislabeled.

3. Based on hours of testing, I am sure this is Butter, yet the package claims otherwise.

2. Mmmmmm, butter! What? Lying whore!!!!!!!!!

1. I am unable to conceive of a universe, wherein this is not butter.